I sat tonight reliving my college years, watching the Eastern women's team dominate DeSalles University in volleyball. They won the conference championship and I sat there thinking about my years playing, how at times now I wish I could be back in that moment. I wish at times that I could spend two hours each day practicing the game I love. I wish at times that I still had the opportunity to spend time with quality girls bonding in hotels and at tournaments. I wish that I still was under the wing of a few coaches and other mentors that were present during the college years.
Yet at the same time I sat there thinking those things I remembered that there is a season for everything...and that maybe it isn't so much about me wanting to relive those years as I want to relive those years and enjoy them for what they are. Rather than get so frustrated at times because of circumstances, always wanting more yet never able to really rest in the moment and accept it for what it was. Hindsight is always 20-20 right? Looking back I think I would be able to "relive" those years because of the perspective I have gained years later.
I want to relive those years because I want to live them embracing the hard work that it entails, to understand that while high expectations are for all, results are not always the same on the court. But working towards those high expectations is what matters, and what brings out the most in each individual. In turn, each person yields something unique and entirely necessary to the heart of a team.
So now I sit here contemplating life in this very moment.
How am I living it?
Am I walking with an awareness of the journey, embracing each step along the way? Recognizing suffering for what it is, searching for the lessons that God is teaching me, and seeking to honor Him along the way?
If I had to take a stab at it, I would say no. But although it isn't a new year...can this be my new "resolution?" After all, we never know what tomorrow brings, and as one of my first crew disciplers always said, "Wherever you are, be all there."
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
A Toast to 2009
“This young adventurer with his thirst for knowledge and his great capacity to love shows us how reality, if properly interpreted, can permeate a human being to the point of changing his or her way of thinking.”
~ comments about Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara, by Aleida Guevara March, in The Motorcycle Diaries ~
My desire in documenting the journey of an urban educator is to do just this...to show “how reality can permeate a human being to the point of changing his or her way of thinking.” I am not here solely to teach the children in front of me each day but also to educate those outside the city of the heart and soul that thrives within the individuals I am in contact with each day. We are all one people and similar in more ways than we can even imagine. Our hearts yearn for love, acceptance and relationship. The choices we make are mere reflections of where our hearts are at and the environment around us. As the stories flow onto this page, may your heart be captured by these men, women and children and the ways in which they chase after their dreams. Dreams look different to every person and every situation, but the decision to chase after one’s dreams make them grand and admirable. Breathe them in, cherish them, and begin to chase after your dreams...for only this pursuit will inspire those around you to do the same. The Lord calls us to chase after him by loving those around us, through genuine and humble service to others and pure worship to God alone. May His gift of grace set your heart on fire to love those around you.
A New Year
As I start to write I am seated at home watching the Steelers take on the Browns, a few days before the new year. I contemplate what this year has brought and what next year has in store. As usual there are vague ideas that run through my head but I have learned to not have plans too detailed or expectations too specific. Since I haven’t written much this year I wanted to give a little update on the year so far at JPA. Our school, previously called “G & Hunting Park Elementary School” was renamed Juniata Park Academy. Yay for having an official school name!
I am teaching 5th and 6th grade learning support this year, so although this is once again a change from last year there are many blessings to this!
1. I have taught both curriculums in the past! Never both at once but I have some familiarity with them!
2. The ladies I teach with (the regular ed. teachers) are AWESOME! Two new teachers, one 2nd year and all three are extremely flexible, supportive and fantastic teachers! They have made this year so much better!
3. I will have the opportunity (if I stay in this position next year) to work with students 2 years in a row. Next year I will have my 5th graders in 6th grade and that continuity will make so much of a difference!
School Activities, Climate, & Relationships:
I have had the awesome opportunity to get to know some amazing people at this school and feel so incredibly blessed to work with the teachers I do! I have made some great friends and look forward to continue working with them over the years! (Praying that they all stick around for awhile...) As for relationships with students, I have had a fun time getting to see former students in the halls. A trip to Eastern to show some girls a college volleyball game proved to be a great memory as they danced, laughed, and made up their own cheers for EU. In addition it was awesome to walk into school this year knowing the students ahead of time. My friend came over from Clemente to join our staff at JPA and I was able to help him with the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Walking through downtown with 80 kids dancing salsa and singing in Spanish was an awesome way to get to know more of the kids at school.
I need to take time to reflect on the highlights of the year as this year has also been really tough emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. I have struggled with the busyness of taking two grad classes while teaching, trying to get some time in running, playing volleyball and spending time with my bible study ladies and friends. Many days I was unsuccessful at being prepared for one situation or the other and I have realized that I do not do well when I am stretched so thin. No one does but for some reason I have a tendency to think that I am superwoman. I hate feeling like I am not doing anything well; teaching, being a student, a mentor, a coworker, or a friend. I also have learned how much I rely on the relational aspect of my job. This year has been tough as I often feel that I do not know my students very well...
Through all of this though, God has been unbelievably gracious, forgiving and generous! Over and over again I have found myself in the arms of a friend that has taken the time to listen and to encourage! Praise God for my church family, for the Ya-Ya’s (our ladies Bible Study), for my coworkers, my family, and for my bestest friends. God has reminded me time and time again that He loves me unconditionally through their love.
As I head into the new year I am reminded that our efforts have absolutely nothing to do with God’s love for us. God’s love is so much bigger than we can ever imagine. His grace covers us and protects us in ways we can only begin to fathom. Praise God for being the Father that walks next to us, puts his arms around us, wipes our tears away, and shelters us from harm under the shadow of his wings. There have been so many blessings over the last few months, at a time when I have often wondered what I am doing here. Many questions and few direct answers yet I have a new outlook. I have learned that in times like this God calls us to be faithful and as we ponder what that might mean I believe that for now it is found in this...
To wake each morning and spend time with the Lord. To study his Words and strive to apply them daily to the best of our ability and through His grace. To trust with all that is within you, even when it feels like it’s so very little. To believe that although you struggle to see God’s purpose, He is ever-present and always working for good.
I believe that although I am so great a sinner, and continue to be so, God is good. God is at work and desires my heart just as much when I feel a mess as he does when I feel I have it altogether. Praying that this new year will be a blessing to His Kingdom.
Gloria a Dios!
~ comments about Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara, by Aleida Guevara March, in The Motorcycle Diaries ~
My desire in documenting the journey of an urban educator is to do just this...to show “how reality can permeate a human being to the point of changing his or her way of thinking.” I am not here solely to teach the children in front of me each day but also to educate those outside the city of the heart and soul that thrives within the individuals I am in contact with each day. We are all one people and similar in more ways than we can even imagine. Our hearts yearn for love, acceptance and relationship. The choices we make are mere reflections of where our hearts are at and the environment around us. As the stories flow onto this page, may your heart be captured by these men, women and children and the ways in which they chase after their dreams. Dreams look different to every person and every situation, but the decision to chase after one’s dreams make them grand and admirable. Breathe them in, cherish them, and begin to chase after your dreams...for only this pursuit will inspire those around you to do the same. The Lord calls us to chase after him by loving those around us, through genuine and humble service to others and pure worship to God alone. May His gift of grace set your heart on fire to love those around you.
A New Year
As I start to write I am seated at home watching the Steelers take on the Browns, a few days before the new year. I contemplate what this year has brought and what next year has in store. As usual there are vague ideas that run through my head but I have learned to not have plans too detailed or expectations too specific. Since I haven’t written much this year I wanted to give a little update on the year so far at JPA. Our school, previously called “G & Hunting Park Elementary School” was renamed Juniata Park Academy. Yay for having an official school name!
I am teaching 5th and 6th grade learning support this year, so although this is once again a change from last year there are many blessings to this!
1. I have taught both curriculums in the past! Never both at once but I have some familiarity with them!
2. The ladies I teach with (the regular ed. teachers) are AWESOME! Two new teachers, one 2nd year and all three are extremely flexible, supportive and fantastic teachers! They have made this year so much better!
3. I will have the opportunity (if I stay in this position next year) to work with students 2 years in a row. Next year I will have my 5th graders in 6th grade and that continuity will make so much of a difference!
School Activities, Climate, & Relationships:
I have had the awesome opportunity to get to know some amazing people at this school and feel so incredibly blessed to work with the teachers I do! I have made some great friends and look forward to continue working with them over the years! (Praying that they all stick around for awhile...) As for relationships with students, I have had a fun time getting to see former students in the halls. A trip to Eastern to show some girls a college volleyball game proved to be a great memory as they danced, laughed, and made up their own cheers for EU. In addition it was awesome to walk into school this year knowing the students ahead of time. My friend came over from Clemente to join our staff at JPA and I was able to help him with the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Walking through downtown with 80 kids dancing salsa and singing in Spanish was an awesome way to get to know more of the kids at school.
I need to take time to reflect on the highlights of the year as this year has also been really tough emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. I have struggled with the busyness of taking two grad classes while teaching, trying to get some time in running, playing volleyball and spending time with my bible study ladies and friends. Many days I was unsuccessful at being prepared for one situation or the other and I have realized that I do not do well when I am stretched so thin. No one does but for some reason I have a tendency to think that I am superwoman. I hate feeling like I am not doing anything well; teaching, being a student, a mentor, a coworker, or a friend. I also have learned how much I rely on the relational aspect of my job. This year has been tough as I often feel that I do not know my students very well...
Through all of this though, God has been unbelievably gracious, forgiving and generous! Over and over again I have found myself in the arms of a friend that has taken the time to listen and to encourage! Praise God for my church family, for the Ya-Ya’s (our ladies Bible Study), for my coworkers, my family, and for my bestest friends. God has reminded me time and time again that He loves me unconditionally through their love.
As I head into the new year I am reminded that our efforts have absolutely nothing to do with God’s love for us. God’s love is so much bigger than we can ever imagine. His grace covers us and protects us in ways we can only begin to fathom. Praise God for being the Father that walks next to us, puts his arms around us, wipes our tears away, and shelters us from harm under the shadow of his wings. There have been so many blessings over the last few months, at a time when I have often wondered what I am doing here. Many questions and few direct answers yet I have a new outlook. I have learned that in times like this God calls us to be faithful and as we ponder what that might mean I believe that for now it is found in this...
To wake each morning and spend time with the Lord. To study his Words and strive to apply them daily to the best of our ability and through His grace. To trust with all that is within you, even when it feels like it’s so very little. To believe that although you struggle to see God’s purpose, He is ever-present and always working for good.
I believe that although I am so great a sinner, and continue to be so, God is good. God is at work and desires my heart just as much when I feel a mess as he does when I feel I have it altogether. Praying that this new year will be a blessing to His Kingdom.
Gloria a Dios!
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